Thursday, October 12, 2017

My Charismatic Quest


Theodor Kittelsen, Soria Moria
"Soria Moria Slott" by Theodor Kittelsen  - Image from Wikipedia

       In my last post, I told you about my heartwarming experience. Because of this experience, I was able to realize other Holy Spirit moments in my life. Unlike those previous experiences, this time I had an insatiable hunger to know more. I made a connection between the Charismatic and my own Methodist tradition. And the first stage of my quest was to learn about my "family tree".

       After reading about how, both, Pentecostals and Charismatics claim lineage from the early Methodist Holiness Movement, I started a Google search to see if there were such a thing as a Methodist Pentecostal or Methodist Charismatic church. If there were, then I wanted to go visit and learn about the Charismatic through a Methodist context. Google brought me to an interesting question posted on a discussion board. A Pentecostal pastor was seeking a local Methodist church that moved in the Charismatic. He apparently was curious why Pentecostal and holiness pastors were moving into the UMC and wanted to see and experience a Charismatic UMC for himself. This sounded in line with what I was seeking, albeit for different reasons. On this discussion board, I found several references to Aldersgate Ministries, so I made a note of that to search for next. Then I came across a link to a document regarding Methodists and the charismatic movement. I read the entire document and wondered where it originated. When I looked at the address bar in my browser and saw that I was on the Methodist "mothership" website, my jaw nearly hit the floor.

       This document, titled "Guidelines: The UMC and the Charismatic Movement", was an interesting read. It begins by defining terms like "pentecostal" and "charismatic". It then provides a brief history and the differences between "classical pentecostalism", "the charismatic movement" and "neo-charismatics" or "third wave". The document goes on to recommendations how we, as Methodists, should respond to Charismatics. It provides guidance for pastors and laity who have had Charismatic experiences and how they should treat pastors and laity who have not. Then there are the recommendations for pastors and laity who have not had Charismatic experiences and how they should respond to those who have. I'll summarize these guidelines with four words: "Love, respect, dignity, and honor". Hmmm, I guess they're pretty good guidelines for how we should treat all people. The guidelines continue with a history of the Pentecost experience from the early church through to the Wesley brother's experiences in 1738. If you like, you can read the guidelines for yourself. They have been published in the Book of Resolutions since 1976.

       After reading the guidelines, I went back to the discussion board and found more information about Aldersgate Ministries. A quick Google search later and I was on the website for Aldersgate Renewal Ministries or ARM. It turns out that ARM isn't just a third-party center with a Methodist flavor, but that they are associated with the UMC Discipleship Ministries (formerly known as the General Board of Discipleship) - the main arm of the UMC that guides activities like church plants, education, international ministries and provides discipleship resources. According to ARM's website, they are a 501(c)3 non-profit corporation that is not funded by the UMC, but through the support of individual contributors and local churches who are passionate about equipping people to serve with and experience the Holy Spirit.

       In several of my previous posts, I mentioned that I had some "differences" with Charismatic churches. Even though, at the time, I didn't know they were Charismatic, or even what it meant to be Charismatic. Several of these churches had training programs with names like "School of Supernatural Ministry" or SSM. That word, supernatural, just did something to me at the time. Even though I now understand it to mean "beyond nature", at the time all I could associate "supernatural" with was the "dark side". My first thought when I saw a church that hosted an SSM was that they were hosting some twisted form of Christian Hogwarts. Since returning from my desert wandering, I had thought that I was supposed to separate myself from things that appeared "mysterious" and a school called "supernatural" certainly seemed mysterious. But I was about to have another "jaw-dropping" discovery. As I looked over ARM's training resources, I found several interesting, and unassuming, titles like:
  • The Lay Witness Mission
  • Venture in Discipleship
  • Life in the Spirit Seminar
  • "Lord, Teach us to Pray"
  • Pathways to a Praying Church
  • Worship in Spirit and Truth Seminar
Then I saw it:
  • "The Methodist School for Supernatural Ministry (MSSM)".
DING DING DING!!!
Shut the front door!!?!
We Methodists have a "school of supernatural ministry"??!?
Very cautiously I clicked on the link and read about the school. Right there on the page were these words:
"Where can Methodists who are longing to live in the supernatural learn about our Methodist heritage of supernatural ministry, how God is moving supernaturally in and through Methodists today, and how to be used by God in supernatural ways?"
I kept reading and soon found sample lectures, posted on YouTube, on different topics from MSSM. At this point, I could have gone running into the other room and told my wife. But I was greatly dreading the "I told you so" speech and I kept it quiet.

       Folks, I had wrong feelings towards my Charismatic brothers and sisters. I mislabeled them as somehow twisted and confused in their beliefs. Yet, when I found the Methodist School for Supernatural Ministry, it was okay. Do you see the faultiness of my logic? Do you see how I judged a whole group of others for being wrong in their thinking, yet somehow, because we Methodists had our own Supernatural Ministry School, everything must be okay. I have since asked the forgiveness of my Charismatic friends, many of whom laugh at my story and then tell me about their own broken backgrounds. They are loving and gracious and so undeserving of the labels and judgments that I passed on them. I am so undeserving of the love and forgiveness that they show me. But you know, that is what it is all about. God loves us and forgives us, even though we don't ever deserve His love. Folks, my friends in Charismatic circles may be different, but they have tangibly demonstrated God's forgiving love to me, one who judged them harshly for who they are, and thus, who they believe in. (LET THAT SINK IN...) In judging my Christian brothers and sisters, I was judging God. Who am I to judge God? I think this is why judgment is reserved for Him and Him alone. (There may be a sermon here somewhere, and somehow I see the story of the Sorcerer's Apprentice and how the apprentice is not worthy to wield that which is for the master, but that has got to be for another time.)

       I watched every sample lecture from MSSM, but for some reason, couldn't justify spending $500 to buy all of the DVDs. More than a month had passed since my conversion experience and I finally broke down and told Michelle, my wife. I tell her everything. How I didn't want to go to Seth Dahl's conference. Yet how I left feeling pure joy and how that feeling had lasted for weeks. I told her what I found out about my Methodist heritage and even about MSSM. Then I asked if we could order the DVDs and watch them together. You see, Michelle had been through two years of the Austin School of Supernatural Ministry (AuSSM). She agreed to walk through this with me, so I ordered the sessions.

       I started talking to my pastor and asked his guidance and counseling. He was happy about my experience, but he confessed that the Charismatic wasn't part of his tradition or training. He was, however, very supportive in my quest for something new and I will talk more about this in the future. I have been working through three prayers since December:
  1. God, I want the joy that I see in my Charismatic friends. I want their joy in me.
  2. God, I want to recover my Methodist tradition and legacy. I want John Wesley's Pentecost for your church today.
  3. God, I don't want to return to my former Christian experience. I want more of You in me.
       Folks, this is how my personal quest began.
I am still questing today and I welcome you along on this journey.
I welcome your questions.
I welcome your curiosity.
I invite you to join me and God's Holy Spirit.

Come, Holy Spirit, fill the hearts of your faithful and kindle in us the fire of Your love.
Send forth Your Spirit and we shall be created. And You shall renew the face of the earth.
O God, who by the light of the Holy Spirit did instruct the hearts of the faithful,
grant that by the same Holy Spirit we may be truly wise and ever enjoy your consolations.
Through Christ our Lord.
Amen.

~~Ken


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