In the fall of 2016, my wife asked me to attend a parenting conference at her church. She seemed to think this would help us with our rambunctious 9-year old granddaughter. I said yes to make my wife happy. But, as you can guess, I really didn't want to go.
The conference was on a Friday in December and the day before, my wife reminded me of my promise to go. I think I replied, "Yeah, I know". On Friday afternoon, I came home from the office early, showered and changed and while she was getting ready, I asked her, "Where is this thing? Is it at your church or somewhere else?". She didn't know and told me to go look it up on the church website. Google here I come, because I didn't know the church web address. When I found what I was looking for, the only event on the church calendar was a Children's Ministry Conference led by Seth Dahl. Wait, this wasn't a parenting class!!?! I asked her if this was correct and she said, "Yep, that's the one!" I tried explaining that children's ministry and parenting weren't the same, but as I'm sure you can guess, I lost that argument.
We grabbed a quick bite for dinner and showed up nearly an hour early. Anyone who knows us knows that we are never on time to anything, including our own wedding. She grabbed seats in the second row, center stage, and walked away to visit with friends. The band was warming up (what? why was the band here?) and I noticed they were a bit loud.
I need to digress a bit to explain something. Do you know that aisle in the toy store that has all the certain-pink Mattel products? You know, the Barbie aisle? Do you know how there are different Barbies: Malibu Barbie, Fashion Executive Barbie, Harried Mom Barbie? Well, how many of you knew that there are different versions of Barbie's man-friend, Ken? Yep. If you look on the bottom shelf in the middle of the aisle, you'll find him: the Judge Ken doll. So, let me tell you, Judge Ken came out of the toy box that night and was in full judging form. Back to my story.
Did I say the band was loud? Ironic, that I also play in a praise band, but we're never too loud, noooo. They played a few songs that I recognized, but they were in a key too high for me to sing along with. A few people that I recognized came and said hello to me. But behind my smile, I didn't want to be there. Do you see a similarity between me and John Wesley? He says he went unwillingly to his prayer group and so, I also, had gone unwillingly to this parenting-children's-ministry-conference-workshop-thingy. When my wife finally returned, I asked her why the band was on stage. She replied, without joking, that they always start with a worship service. Of course, I'm in a church, why wouldn't we start with worship? Remember, Judge Ken was in da house!!!
When worship started, the pastor, his wife, and Seth came in and stood in the row right in front of me. I watched as Seth worshiped and noticed him kneeling on the floor in front of his chair. I thought that he must be praying as we worshiped. But, because you know how I was so fully engaged in worship, I watched as he rummaged in his backpack. He pulled out a bible and a notebook and started looking things up. Judge Ken was curious why he had to look things up when he was supposed to be speaking in a few moments? Yet, when he took the stage, something changed. He had my full attention. (Seth, if you're reading this, please forgive me from judging you. It was unfounded.)
He shared his story, and how as a child he had grown up in the church. I related - I too had grown up in the church. He told how he went to bible study and memorized scripture. (Hey, I did that too!) Then when he was a teenager, he fell away from the church. (Hey, me too!) He ran with a bad crowd and started doing and selling drugs (Whoa, wait a minute, I never did that!). As he continued his testimony, I realized that it wasn't "how far away" from God we are, but that we are "away from God". I realized that my own desert wandering was a time of "away from God", even though I never said "I don't believe", I also never did anything to grow closer in my walk with God. My story can't compare with Seth's, but what I'm getting at, is that I am no better than Seth. Even as his story is much more dramatic than my own. We were both away from God. Does that make sense? I can't claim to be closer to God simply because I didn't go down the same dark path that Seth did, but my path was still "away from God".
Seth continued his talk with how we seek joy. Many Christians seek joy, not in God, but in what they do for God. Did you catch that? Our joy doesn't come from God, but in the activities we do, hoping to please Him. This is why we struggle to stay in constant joy. We are not rooted in the source of joy, God, but in other things. Seth said a lot that night, most of which I'm still digesting ten months later. But what really turned me around was JOY.
Seth works for a church with which I had a personal and theological difference. During my coming home period, I told you that my wife and I didn't see eye-to-eye when it came to spirituality and Seth's church was one of those that I didn't agree with. I had tried, previously, to find out more about their beliefs and theology, only to uncover negative comments from the Internet peanut gallery. This night, I went home and googled again and, to my amazement, found a short bio of the lead pastor which gave me a clue: he had grown up in the Assembly of God church. So I quickly left Google and hopped over to my second favorite research site, Wikipedia. I looked up the AG church and read the article. Two clue words immediately popped up: Pentecostal and Charismatic. (Remember, I thought Pentecostals were snake-handling poison drinkers and Charismatics were popular and charming.) So I headed down the internet bunny trail and clicked on the Pentecostal article. What I found was a jaw-dropping, earth-shaking, revelation: Pentecostals trace their heritage to the early Holiness Movement which was started by Methodists. When I read the second article on Charismatics, I found the same revelation: Charismatics trace their heritage to the early Holiness Movement founded by Methodists. What? How could this be? Folks, for me, this revelation was like digging in your family tree and learning that you had an ancestor on the Mayflower. Or that you can trace your family history to King Arthur. Judge Ken was gone, at least for the time being, and I felt such a sense of joy well up in me that I couldn't wait for Saturday morning. I had felt my heart strangely warmed.
Saturday came, and I was a little less reserved and a bit more curious. We started with worship. But I let it go. The band wasn't as loud, and they still sang too high for me. But I let it go. There was a woman dancing in the corner as we worshiped. But I let it go. Dear reader, I think this is the secret to knowing God - let it go. I went through the day and took pages of notes. I asked questions. I learned and grew. At the end of the day, they held a time of impartation, which is how Charismatics and Pentecostals share prayer, wisdom, knowledge, and prophecy with those in attendance. I had never participated in a session like this, but I let go and allowed them to pray over me. During the prayer, I received a prophetic word from Seth: "Fresh wind in his sails, Lord!" This may not seem like much for you, but for me, it was the beginning of an intense season of joy that nothing could affect.
The next morning I found a way to fulfill my Sunday obligations at St John's so that I could go and worship, for the first time, with my wife. I heard Seth speak again on "joy" and how we should seek to root ourselves in God as the source of joy. I looked around the worship room and saw the joy in the faces of those around me and I prayed to God: "I want what they have!" I felt like I glowed when I left the church that morning. My wife wanted me to go back later that evening for one last session with Seth, but I had a church meeting that I needed to attend.
It was very odd for me, being with my Methodist friends and pastors while in this state of overwhelming joy. I felt like I was about to burst if I didn't share this joy with those around me, but I managed to keep quiet. My District Superintendent gave a talk that evening, encouraging us to "think outside the box" with how we carry the gospel to the world. All I could think was how "outside the box" I had been that weekend.
The weekend of December 2nd - 4th, 2016, was my Holy Spirit awakening and I have been questing ever since for more of Him in my life. Next time, I continue with my quest for the Holy Spirit.
~~Ken
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